Hello followers,
I know it has been quite some time..again. I seem to forget about my blog when I'm busy at school. Well, I have been struggling with school this year..and when I say struggling, I mean that it's eating me alive. I never thought I would have this much trouble with school, and with a program I was so pumped for. Now I just feel like God is making me fail so I will change my direction of schooling. Its very discouraging to study for hours, feel so prepared, write the exam, feel good about how I did, then find out 3 weeks later that all my efforts still managed to land me a failing mark. Out of the 8 midterms that I had, I have only passed 1..and I have yet to find out about one more. So..as you can see, I have become confused, frustrated, angry, sad, and left feeling hopeless. People keep saying to "try harder", and "keep trying", "maybe your not studying enough", "maybe this isn't the program for you"when all I want to say is...please stop talking! I have tried my hardest and I have studied for hours and maybe this isn't the program for me but that doesn't give an reason why I'm failing when I've tried so hard to succeed! Maybe God is failing me to show me that psychology isn't for me, maybe He's trying to tell me that I need to try harder, maybe He's trying to tell me that I'm not ready for this..it's just a whole bunch of maybe's and I have no idea which one is right. I have prayed over and over again, before, during and after writing exams.
I have looked into a different career choice, Hospital Ward clerk/Secretary..which seems to be quite a good job. I get to learn medical terminology, how to re-write doctor's notes and file things, and also how to check patients in and out. It would be fun to learn and a fun/interesting area to work in. Maybe this is what God wants.
Prayers much needed, please.
love janie
Janie I am feeling for you. It is okay to change your route in life, you are so young and may find that the road you walk will have many detours to other jobs/education. This is good, it builds character and one day it will feel right. I can see you as a smiling medical secretary that makes people feel secure at the docs office, we need more faces like that. Hang in there, when the it feels like darkness God still has a candle for you.
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