I am Home!

Well...i got home on Tuesday, and today it is Friday. So i have been home for 3 days now! I am so happy, but if Cole was here then everything was perfect. :) I cannot wait to have lunch and spend time with Christy today...its going to be so nice to catch up with her. and on the 24th i am going to the Wear's house to spend Christmas Eve with his family, and it will be so fun to spend time with Cole's family. and then Christmas day with the entire family, including Jeff. and then on the 26th we head out to Kenora and pick up Cole on the way. We have Christmas with my mom's side of the family..with everyone! Its going to be so fun, especially with Cole and Jeff coming with us. And its going to be interesting finding enough space for all of us to sleep. But its kind of been figured out.
Anywho..its going to be a busy Christmas. Oh and i am spending time with Linda next week at some point, and i also get my wisdom teeth pulled on the 28th.

love janie

Home..

To all those who are following my posts...
I am going home in 8 days!! :) i am so excited..and scared to go on a plane for the first time! Although, i will have Cole beside me and God in my heart..keeping me safe and calm. I have a giant suit case with some clothes, presents and winter stuff! i hope it wont cost too much to put as an extra baggage..but i dont even know how it all works. :p i'm so new at this. Cole will have to help me out the whole time. i cannot wait any longer! i just want to do my exams and fly away home! hahah thats a movie! :p anywho...8 days til i come home...i am happy.

love janie

Father's healing fingures...

Well hello there, so it has been about 6 days since i got my tonsils removed and, although it's been a painful process, i am finally waking up with little pain in my throat. :) and thanks to God, i am going through the day with little pain in swallowing and chewing and eating. i am so thankful that everything is going so well...at least it feels like it's going well to me. however, i am not getting used to eating and drinking cold things, and having to eat soft or liquid foods. not fun at all. plus it's so cold outside and i can't have coffee to warm me up! yikes! well, i'm not craving ice cream any more! ha ha...i miss hot food and drinks! and solid food. but, soon i will get to eat and drink anything i want because Friday is the 10th day of healing, which is the average amount of days it takes to heal, and on Monday the 28th, i go for my follow up appointment and get my throat checked for complete healing! and if all is well and i can eat anything i want, then Cole is taking me out to dinner! :) that makes me sooooooooooooo excited and happy!
anyways...
love janie

Tonsilectomy..

Well, yesterday i got my tonsils removed! Wooo! it was pretty interesting. first, we were told i was late, but turns out i was put into surgery late! so, at 8:30 we get in there, i put on my giant hospital gown, then i got my IV in! yikes! i did not like that at all. me and mom were being so loud too though! just laughing and talking. then around 10:50 a nurse came and rolled me down to the operating room. and asked me if iv ever gotten surgery before, then another nurse came out, and they were both calling me a surgery virgin! so funny! then the anesthetic doctor came in wondering what we were all laughing at and so the ladies tell him about me being a virgin. then i get oxygen and the anesthetic and my body starts going numb from the toes up..and i'm out! when i wake up i have 2 nurses over me asking if im awake and i just nod my head. the next thing i noticed was that i could breathe through my nose! i was sooooo happy! then i noticed how much my throat hurt. so when the nurse asked me to rate the pain i had to say 8, and a new nurse came and gave me a pain reliever. then after becoming stabilized, i was rolled back to the area i was in before i went into surgery. and from there every hour i got my blood pressure done and id be sleeping half the time. a nurse would come and ask mom if i was awake or not. i was there til 5:00. i had to have help to get up and pee once. and before i was going home, i felt really nauseous, and so the nurse who had been looking after me, put some gravol through my IV. i got a wheel chair ride down to the lobby and Ron came and drove us home. we were barely driving when i threw up. after that i felt better. and i ate yogurt, pudding, and ice cream for supper last night cuz i was so hungry from not eating all day. and lots of water. and now, iv been sitting at home all day, mom and i worked on my art project and went to Safeway for more food. and my Demerol medication makes me dizzy and nauseous when my T3s only make me drowsy.
Anywho...
love janie

Life is Spectacular...

So, the past little bit has been quite interesting. I got 40% on my intro to psych exam...:S but 55% on my math exam! :) and also work has been going well.
The one thing i want to focus on is...getting my tonsils removed! YAY! i am so excited for that because i will have no more annoying sore throat and i will not get sick as often! I am so glad i'm getting this done! it will be painful for the first couple days of the healing but it will be worth it! i just have to follow the instructions for what to eat and what not to eat...it will be interesting. and i don't have to stay over night at the hospital either..so that good! i just have to get a physical and blood work done the day before..ish. and i have to be at the hospital two hours before the scheduled surgery. oh, the surgery is on November 15th at 10:00 am, but i have to be there at 8:00am for the prep and such. :)
anywho, class time.

love janie

I Feel Better..

Well, last night i had a good time at work, not much to do since it was so slow, so i was able to go home at 8:00. :) and i had checked my Noventis online banking thing, and i had $0.00 in my account, and i checked it this morning and i had over $9000 in it! Woooooo! It made my day! i paid off my loan from the bank, the rest of my rent for this month and all over next months! i was also able to buy more art supplies. :) and that made me happy! and maybe on sunday, if i get my first paycheck on friday, i will take Cole out for supper! :) I love him. Thank you God for always being here and keeping me from freaking out! And thank you for Cole who always keeps my feet on the ground and loves me to no end! :)
love janie

Thank you Father...

So, on thursday, wen i found out about my fail on my mid term, and i got really depressed. But, it didn't help that i hadn't packed a lunch so i was hungry and emotional. well, Cole..being how amazing and loving that he is, was at mcd's, brought me food, and we spent about an hour or so together. it made me feel so much better. and then yesterday, i went to his school for a bit. felt great to be there with him, although i felt so out of place being a university student at a college, and wearing a shirt that said "Psychology" in big letters with "Lakehead university" underneath. wow, way to put myself out there. :P but it was nice to spend some time with Cole at his school for a change. i've never done that yet and i'd be happy to do it again, and again, again. hehe and i get to spend some time with Coley tomorrow. we're going to church with my Auntie then we're going to go swimming at Cole's work, then coming back to my house for a "study date", he has work to do and i need to study for another exam. then we're going to watch a movie after we're done studying. and work has been going really well! I'm enjoying the fast pace, although it can be stressful, i still rather be in the back making pizzas than up front making orders and ringing people up on the till. i work again tonight, the 3rd night in a row, then i work monday, and the same thing happens again next weekend. Thursday at 6, Friday and Saturday at 5, and Monday at 5.
i thank God a million times over for how much He loves me and for showing my love through Cole and bringing me to opening up to how great being in love with someone can be and being ready to spend the rest of my life loving that person. Cole is that person that i want to spend the rest of my life loving and that's all because of God. He brought Jesus to forgive me of any past mistakes and brought me a lover to make me feel worth the chance of having love. and i'm lucky to have it at only 18 years of age. Thank you again Father.
love janie :)

Mid Terms = brain over load...

So, it turns out that i actually failed my Psychology of Aging mid term. my Prof got the marks mixed up, i had a 55% but now i actually have a 49%. Why did this have to happen!!? Ugh now i have to write a term paper to hopefully fix my mark...i don't know how well that will work since i've never been very good at writing essays. I have never wanted to cry so badly at school in my life. it doesn't help that i thought that i had done so well on it, considering that none of the questions were based on anything i remembered from the notes. And some people got 100%! HOW? None of the questions on the exam were seemed at all like what were in the notes or articles. I do not understand what so ever! Ugh, i actually tried super hard on that exam too, even though i didn't understand all of it. God, please help me to stay strong, and please don't let me fail any more of my exams! Please!
anyways, my anxiety is through the roof.
love janie

Stress...Relief

Well, i have a stressful time at school! Yeeesh..not complaining because i do enjoy my classes, well come, but i don't know, it seems like the lectures make sense but then the exams are super hard and don't connect to anything we learned in class, except for Intro to Psych, that one made sense. But still, it's so stressful when the profs talk about all these things in class, get you to read stuff but then don't put it on the exam so you have no idea what your doing, then you get your marks back and it's so low! Like what!?
My relief comes when i'm in the classes i enjoy and understand like Intro to Psychology and Psychology of Human Sexuality, those are the only classes i have not felt stressed in, and thank goodness for that. Or relief comes when i'm with Cole. He makes me feel so much better, like a weight is just gone, especially after a downfall in marks or just a stressful day. He just erases all my worries for the time he's with me, and leaves me feeling rested and lighter. I thank God for him every day! Consciously or subconsciously. And i love hanging out with Cole because we have "best friends" moments where we act more like super close friends than two people that are super in love, even though those "best friend" moments are filled with love for each other. I adore him! I could really use a dose of his endless happiness and energy today, so very much! :S
Anyways,
love janie

Failing...

So, i got back the corrections for my 3rd math assignment, and i officially think that i'm failing that class! i'v gotten a failing mark on all the assignments so far, but it doesn't help that my teacher sucks at teaching. but hopefully, hopefully, my assignment 4 will be better since i asked Brenda for assistance, and even she thought that some of the questions were a badly worded, which made it hard to figure out what it was asking you to do! i am failing math, but i'm doing good in every other class, what the heck! and i thought this would be an easier math but apparently i picked the hardest one, it prolly isn't even a first year course! Oh my goodness, i am going to suffer for the rest of the semester, especially on the mid term and end exam! and i have a mid term next week! UGGGGHHH! i don't know what i'm going to do, i am freaking out! i cannot fail a class!! i will die if i fail a class, i will feel like such a failure! :S :( i want to cry! GOD HELP ME!

love janie

Thanksgiving :D

Well, we had our thanksgiving dinner last night, i don't think i had so much fun in a little while. Me and kirstie were being super weird, and Beth (the daughter of the fam i'm living with) joined in! Amie was also there too, but she just laughed at everything we did weirdly. Soooo funny! and kirstie, beth and i ended up sleeping in the camper! fun fun fun! and the only reason we stayed up til about 1:00 is cuz beth and kirstie were laughing at everything! :p i am so thankful for all the fun i had this weekend. i am also thankful for seeing Cole's family, even though his papa wasn't there, it was still great to see most of the family. i am so thankful for Cole, and how patient and loving he is, and also how much he cares for me and works hard to make sure i feel beautiful, loved, and cared for. i am thankful for my family and that they drove all this way to come see me. i am thankful for God's patients and love for me, and that He is there for me always and will never give me anything He thinks i can't handle. He is great to me and great for me. i cannot ask for anything more from Jesus other than for comfort and Him to never leave me.
anyways,
Love janie v.

Tendonitis

Do be honest, i don't even know what it is, but i have it. in my wrist, in one of the smallest tendons i have ever seen. :P just below the base of my thumb! and i don't even know how i got it! I shouldn't even be using my wrist right now, i'm not supposed to be! Haha i also have to take Advil 3 times a day. and i have to ice it sometimes and keep it wrapped in a tensor bandage. :S i don't know how i'm supposed to not use my wrist when its my left one, and i'm left handed! This sucks. :( Anyways,
Love janie

New Start

Hey there everyone, so i'm in university! already into my second month now. it's been pretty amazing, although i have had several and plenty of struggles several things, like making friends and actually trying to make friends. However, having Cole a closer distance is a plus! :) Only a half hour bike ride, or a 20minute bus ride. (not including the bus transfer waits) The down side to being in university is that your broke! until you get a job and your student aid comes in. both of those things will hopefully fall into place very very very soon! i will be honest, i haven't been s committed to calling on God as i should be, i have to much trouble asking Him for things. i don't know if it's because of pride or just the want to not have to ask God for things or ask God over and over again for things. i still struggle so much with that.
One thing i cannot wait for is getting my PhD in psychology! its going to be such a great feeling! although it is many years of hard studying and money down the road. it still is so much to look forward to! and i cannot wait to get married! :0 that's going to be amazing! oh and Cole is doing great in college! He's making friends, basically the smartest in his class and has a job to help keep him going while he waits for his student aid to come in! wooooo!
Anyways, gotta get to sociology. :S
love
janie v.

Hey Viewers

Hello! I know its been a while. And I will be honest, I don't go on the computer for all that long anymore. Usually just to check my facebook and emails. But I will say now what has been going on with me! So, I have been accepted to Lakehead University, and I will be attending this fall. :) I plan to register for my classes on July 11, and am already packing for the move to Thunder Bay! Also, next week Cole and I graduate! His grad is on June 23 and mine is June 24. Its going to be one busy week. I have a mani/pedi with my mom on the 22 and Cole's birthday that day too. Then its Cole's grad and a small party after with his fam. Then its my grad, with a big party afterwards at my house with my guests and some people who couldnt make it to the grad. Then on the 25 its Cole's grad/birthday party with all his family and friends! Haha so I'm going to be very tired by the end of the week. Oh and on the 26th before sunrise, Cole and I are driving down to the beach with some blankets, stuff for breakfast, and coffee, and sitting on the beach making breaky while watching the sun rise! It's going to be amazing. And hopefully that day we will be going to Highwind Lake for a couple days before Staff Training starts at camp and before summer starts. :) I am so excited for it! Anyways, talk to you all later.

Long Time

Hey there people, its been a while since i wrote. I will be honest i kind of forgot about my blog for a bit. It seems like so much is going on. I had my choir festival just a couple weeks ago, and grad is coming up so lots of stuff is going on to get ready for that. and also the last music concert is coming up in a couple weeks, June 2, and every music section is working hard to get ready. its really stressfull. and im trying to make sure i have everything in for university. :S
But today is a happy day! It's my 7month-aversary with COLE! :) this makes me so happy, that we've already made it this far! and it flew by in wat felt like only a couple weeks. and you know wat makes me all the more happier? well the sun is shining, and iv already got a slight tan/burn on my back! which makes me sooo happy! Haha. And plus, this weekend is Abundant Springs, and my youth group is going! its going to be amazing, and i hope the food is good there unlike last time...the food wasnt very good. :P
Anyways, i must be going. I'll leave a song here that i really love.

You Are - Tenth Avenue North

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are
The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are
You are

Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are
The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are
You are.

I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart

Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are
The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are
You are

(Chorus)

All I am I want to lay down at Your feet 3x

(Chorus)

Relief...

Hello people, so today is my 18th birthday, i have been on the earth fro 19 years thanks to God. :) He brought me into the world and made me into the woman i am now. So, He gave me a birthday gift yesterday. A very big relief. I got my acceptance/offer letter from Lakehead University so i will be going there in the fall. :) Which makes me soooooo happy and i cannot wait for it. Its going to be an amazing experience. Plus, i have Cole only down the street from me at Confederation College. Its awsome. And once we're there we can plan our whole lives! Its very exciting!
I dont know why people make such a big deal out of birthdays, i dont feel any different and i dont look any older. So why make it a big deal, yes it is the 18th year since my first birithday. but so wat, im not doing anything interesting or special for it like some people are. :P laaaaamooo. Anyways..i should get going. just wanted to say that I am sooo happy thanks to God and prayers from the people around me. Especially Cole. :)

Stressssss.

Well hello, so today was a boring but stressfull day. :S yeesh. so choir, it seemed like everyone was asleep or something, then in math, i thought my brain was on overload, plus in english that made my brain explode! Yikes. Then to top it off...jazz was just UGH! no one was able to sing apparently, even some people who have amazing voices and are good at this couldnt get it. and the instrumentalists were having trouble too. :S
And also to add to this stressful post, Cole and his mom have gone to Thunder Bay to check out his school, which he is already accepted to, and to look at the campus and get a tour. Well this sucks for me cuz i applied to Lakehead University, which is 3miles away from his school, and i still havnt been accepted, and he's basically got everything figured out with where he's staying and such. And here i am, not knowing how i'll make enough money over the summer to pay for almost all of the tuition, and where im saying, plus i havnt even been accepted yet!! UGH...im sad to say that im very jealous that everything is going so smoothly for him. and he knows that im jealous. :S
But on a happier note, i have small groups tonight with Linda and the girls, and hopefully that will brighten my spirit.

something to say.

Okay, i know this is my third post today. but i have something to say..well i was reading this book today, called "Faded Denim" about this girl who is a little bit over weight, and all the girls around her including her best friend are thin and beautiful. well this makes her feel really ugly and fat. so her best friend gives her tips on losing pounds. and then she is asked to go to a modeling school(during the summer) for two weeks with this friend, well by the time that happens she has only lost 3pounds and is not happy. so while she's at this school for 2 weeks she is given these tips by all these young models on losing pounds and inches fast. well this works for the girl, but it involves anorexia nervosa and bulimia and over exercising. and all those combined is not good for anyone's body. but at the end of the summer she helps out as a worship leader at a camp and all the campers are disabled, handicapped, or mentally challenged. and this girl realizes that although these young kids have challenges in their lives, they are still happy. and even though she has none of those challenges, she had taken her abilities and her functioning body for granted. and with the help of friends and God, she makes it through her battle, however, her battle was long from over. there was still a constant battle inside even if she was eating right and exercising properly. but knowing that she got through that with God, it makes me feel better about myself, and that if i ever feel like im not good enough, i can turn to God and pray, and i will know that he made me perfect how he wants me to be, and i will try not to change what he has given me. I love God, and i love you Cole...read this and know you have not failed at making me feel perfect. know that it takes more than one person to convince someone of something. :) I love you.

Song For The Broken - Close Your Eyes

We'll scream it loud!
This is our melody; it's time to sing it out
So give us words before we all forget!

This is where I lift my hands and say enough is enough!
So many people are broken and they're not getting up
This is our offering; this is our hope!
This is what we believe in, and we're not giving up

This is our song
So sing out loud a chorus for us.
And it's all too much; I can feel my lungs collapse on me.

Bitter soul why are you weeping tears that fall only for you?

This is our song
So sing out loud a chorus for us
It's all too much; I can feel my lungs collapse on me.

This is my worship; this is my life
To bring hope into this broken world[x4]

This is my worship; this is our worship!

This is our song (We'll scream it loud!)
So sing out loud (Sing out loud!) a chorus for us
It's all too much; I can feel my lungs collapse on me.

New Things

Hey there, starting fresh with my new blog. :) feels better, i think so anyways. Here i am drinking tea, which is quickly cooling off, and i have nothing to say. other than the fact that i am almost out of highschool and starting a new blog was a good idea. i feel that this one suites me better, in the name and url of it. :) i hope you all enjoy my random posts...cuz who knows wat i'll be putting up each day! :P