I Feel Better..

Well, last night i had a good time at work, not much to do since it was so slow, so i was able to go home at 8:00. :) and i had checked my Noventis online banking thing, and i had $0.00 in my account, and i checked it this morning and i had over $9000 in it! Woooooo! It made my day! i paid off my loan from the bank, the rest of my rent for this month and all over next months! i was also able to buy more art supplies. :) and that made me happy! and maybe on sunday, if i get my first paycheck on friday, i will take Cole out for supper! :) I love him. Thank you God for always being here and keeping me from freaking out! And thank you for Cole who always keeps my feet on the ground and loves me to no end! :)
love janie

Thank you Father...

So, on thursday, wen i found out about my fail on my mid term, and i got really depressed. But, it didn't help that i hadn't packed a lunch so i was hungry and emotional. well, Cole..being how amazing and loving that he is, was at mcd's, brought me food, and we spent about an hour or so together. it made me feel so much better. and then yesterday, i went to his school for a bit. felt great to be there with him, although i felt so out of place being a university student at a college, and wearing a shirt that said "Psychology" in big letters with "Lakehead university" underneath. wow, way to put myself out there. :P but it was nice to spend some time with Cole at his school for a change. i've never done that yet and i'd be happy to do it again, and again, again. hehe and i get to spend some time with Coley tomorrow. we're going to church with my Auntie then we're going to go swimming at Cole's work, then coming back to my house for a "study date", he has work to do and i need to study for another exam. then we're going to watch a movie after we're done studying. and work has been going really well! I'm enjoying the fast pace, although it can be stressful, i still rather be in the back making pizzas than up front making orders and ringing people up on the till. i work again tonight, the 3rd night in a row, then i work monday, and the same thing happens again next weekend. Thursday at 6, Friday and Saturday at 5, and Monday at 5.
i thank God a million times over for how much He loves me and for showing my love through Cole and bringing me to opening up to how great being in love with someone can be and being ready to spend the rest of my life loving that person. Cole is that person that i want to spend the rest of my life loving and that's all because of God. He brought Jesus to forgive me of any past mistakes and brought me a lover to make me feel worth the chance of having love. and i'm lucky to have it at only 18 years of age. Thank you again Father.
love janie :)

Mid Terms = brain over load...

So, it turns out that i actually failed my Psychology of Aging mid term. my Prof got the marks mixed up, i had a 55% but now i actually have a 49%. Why did this have to happen!!? Ugh now i have to write a term paper to hopefully fix my mark...i don't know how well that will work since i've never been very good at writing essays. I have never wanted to cry so badly at school in my life. it doesn't help that i thought that i had done so well on it, considering that none of the questions were based on anything i remembered from the notes. And some people got 100%! HOW? None of the questions on the exam were seemed at all like what were in the notes or articles. I do not understand what so ever! Ugh, i actually tried super hard on that exam too, even though i didn't understand all of it. God, please help me to stay strong, and please don't let me fail any more of my exams! Please!
anyways, my anxiety is through the roof.
love janie

Stress...Relief

Well, i have a stressful time at school! Yeeesh..not complaining because i do enjoy my classes, well come, but i don't know, it seems like the lectures make sense but then the exams are super hard and don't connect to anything we learned in class, except for Intro to Psych, that one made sense. But still, it's so stressful when the profs talk about all these things in class, get you to read stuff but then don't put it on the exam so you have no idea what your doing, then you get your marks back and it's so low! Like what!?
My relief comes when i'm in the classes i enjoy and understand like Intro to Psychology and Psychology of Human Sexuality, those are the only classes i have not felt stressed in, and thank goodness for that. Or relief comes when i'm with Cole. He makes me feel so much better, like a weight is just gone, especially after a downfall in marks or just a stressful day. He just erases all my worries for the time he's with me, and leaves me feeling rested and lighter. I thank God for him every day! Consciously or subconsciously. And i love hanging out with Cole because we have "best friends" moments where we act more like super close friends than two people that are super in love, even though those "best friend" moments are filled with love for each other. I adore him! I could really use a dose of his endless happiness and energy today, so very much! :S
Anyways,
love janie

Failing...

So, i got back the corrections for my 3rd math assignment, and i officially think that i'm failing that class! i'v gotten a failing mark on all the assignments so far, but it doesn't help that my teacher sucks at teaching. but hopefully, hopefully, my assignment 4 will be better since i asked Brenda for assistance, and even she thought that some of the questions were a badly worded, which made it hard to figure out what it was asking you to do! i am failing math, but i'm doing good in every other class, what the heck! and i thought this would be an easier math but apparently i picked the hardest one, it prolly isn't even a first year course! Oh my goodness, i am going to suffer for the rest of the semester, especially on the mid term and end exam! and i have a mid term next week! UGGGGHHH! i don't know what i'm going to do, i am freaking out! i cannot fail a class!! i will die if i fail a class, i will feel like such a failure! :S :( i want to cry! GOD HELP ME!

love janie

Thanksgiving :D

Well, we had our thanksgiving dinner last night, i don't think i had so much fun in a little while. Me and kirstie were being super weird, and Beth (the daughter of the fam i'm living with) joined in! Amie was also there too, but she just laughed at everything we did weirdly. Soooo funny! and kirstie, beth and i ended up sleeping in the camper! fun fun fun! and the only reason we stayed up til about 1:00 is cuz beth and kirstie were laughing at everything! :p i am so thankful for all the fun i had this weekend. i am also thankful for seeing Cole's family, even though his papa wasn't there, it was still great to see most of the family. i am so thankful for Cole, and how patient and loving he is, and also how much he cares for me and works hard to make sure i feel beautiful, loved, and cared for. i am thankful for my family and that they drove all this way to come see me. i am thankful for God's patients and love for me, and that He is there for me always and will never give me anything He thinks i can't handle. He is great to me and great for me. i cannot ask for anything more from Jesus other than for comfort and Him to never leave me.
anyways,
Love janie v.

Tendonitis

Do be honest, i don't even know what it is, but i have it. in my wrist, in one of the smallest tendons i have ever seen. :P just below the base of my thumb! and i don't even know how i got it! I shouldn't even be using my wrist right now, i'm not supposed to be! Haha i also have to take Advil 3 times a day. and i have to ice it sometimes and keep it wrapped in a tensor bandage. :S i don't know how i'm supposed to not use my wrist when its my left one, and i'm left handed! This sucks. :( Anyways,
Love janie

New Start

Hey there everyone, so i'm in university! already into my second month now. it's been pretty amazing, although i have had several and plenty of struggles several things, like making friends and actually trying to make friends. However, having Cole a closer distance is a plus! :) Only a half hour bike ride, or a 20minute bus ride. (not including the bus transfer waits) The down side to being in university is that your broke! until you get a job and your student aid comes in. both of those things will hopefully fall into place very very very soon! i will be honest, i haven't been s committed to calling on God as i should be, i have to much trouble asking Him for things. i don't know if it's because of pride or just the want to not have to ask God for things or ask God over and over again for things. i still struggle so much with that.
One thing i cannot wait for is getting my PhD in psychology! its going to be such a great feeling! although it is many years of hard studying and money down the road. it still is so much to look forward to! and i cannot wait to get married! :0 that's going to be amazing! oh and Cole is doing great in college! He's making friends, basically the smartest in his class and has a job to help keep him going while he waits for his student aid to come in! wooooo!
Anyways, gotta get to sociology. :S
love
janie v.