Thursday, June 28, 2012

Surprises...

Hello!
My youngest sister, Kirstie, graduated on June 22, 2012..which was a Friday. And on that amazing day, during the busy hour of makeup and dressing..my wonderful, handsome man, Cole, comes to my parent's house to surprise me. Little did I know he was there until my Mom so descretely calls me away from the bathroom to "help her with something" only to come into the kitchen to see that wonderul, handsome mad standing there with the most amazing smile on his gorgeous face. Without even thinking I screamed and ran into his waiting arms..not even caring that my butt might be hanging out of my dress. I could feel his shaking from pure happiness as he held me against him. I forgot to mention that everyone in my family knew he was coming, for almost 2 weeks! and only 10 minutes prior to this surprise, my Dad was asking me if I knew if Cole would be coming out to visit his family before school started. Hahahahah sneaky family. And I am still so astonished that I got to hug, kiss, cuddle, smile, laugh, and cry with Cole during the few days I had with him. By the way..all the crying was done by me, all the antisipation of him leaving again made me so emotion the day before he had to bus back to Thunder Bay.
On Friday night, Cole and I had driven back to his parent's place to stay the night and to see his Dad before we headed to Kenora on Saturday afternoon. We got to spend a lovely 3hours in my new car on the drive to Kenora. We got to spend some time here at my Grandparent's house. And I'm guessing that while I was busy at some point in the day..he was able to secretly hide little notes in my day planner, in my pillow case, on my mirror and just on my bed. He also smothered the sweater I have of his in his deoderant so I can smell him aaaaaaaaallll night while I cuddled with it. All the notes and smells of him help me to hold on to the reality that he was actually here, that he actually came and surprised me. Even now that I think about it, the moment I came into the kitchen turned into a blur after I screamed and jumped into his open arms. :)
I am the luckiest girl alive.

love janie

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Lost..

So..I know many people have watched the show LOST, well..I just started. And it is, in a sense, addicting! It's addicting because you want to know when these people will be rescued, when one of the monsters will come and get them, what everyone is thinking each day that they aren't rescued and what are all the secrets of each person's life before the plane crash. Well..as I watch this, I notice that while I am so interest in what everyone has done in the past or what brought them to be on this plane..I think about how glad I am that I wasn't on that plane! I think about what I would do if I was one of those people. Well..I believe that I would be freaking out! Then I would be crying out to God to save me, or at least help me to calm down. And somewhere in the back of my mind I would be wishing I was one of the many people who did not survive the crash. Especially because living on a dangerous, creepy, unknown island would make me think of how wonderful Heaven would be at this very moment; how much better it would be. But, because I had survived, I would focus my energy on surviving and building my relationship with God. I would do what I could to be supportive and helpful but also in some way help bring pease to those through God. Another significant thought, no matter how lost I would be to the rest of the world, I would never be lost to God. He would know exactly where I was. :)
But, the more I watch this show, I realize in a way..I am lost. I realize that there are times in my walk with Christ that I feel completely confused and lost. I don't know what to do or how to act; what my choices are or what it is that God wants me to do. I feel lost because I can't hear God, I don't get signs from Him for what I should be doing! Especially when it comes to what path I should choose in my future career..do I go on to get a Masters degree in Psych or do I go on to become a guidance counsiler..well..I have no idea! Although, I do trust and know that it some way, God will help me with my choices, whether making me fail an exam or pass one. Or giving me words of widsom for an important essay or soemthing; in one way or another, He will help me through my lost moments and give me understanding. If I gambler, I would bet my life that God will help me through anything. And because I know God loves me, even with all my baggage; He will bring me on His path that He has made for me. I will never be lost with my Father by my side.

love janie

Thursday, June 7, 2012

School..

The other day I received an email from the University's registrar saying that class registry is now open for students to register for the coming year. Once I read that email, I went and started figuring out my requirements and how many credits I have yet to get. My school has an online profile thing for each student, and on there they have a lot of links for knowing your marks, your profile, transcript and degree audit and such. I went to check out my degree audit, which tells you your GPA, credit scores and the like. It also tells you the average for your programs required courses. So..out of the Psych courses, I recieved a 60% average and the requirement for the program was to get a 60% or higher..well I just barely made it! After a year of stress and confusion..I still managed to land my average.
This next year, I will be working towards meeting more requirements and getting the right amount of credits that I need. I have already starting figuring out what certain courses I should be looking for and whether I will want more full year courses or just one semester courses. The stress-fest has begun! This summer is going to be a time of prayer and hard work; emailing people at the school and getting on the right track to get a higher program average. Also I have to work towards picking up the lost one lost credit from last year, so I have to work on getting 6 or more credits next year to keep up. Next year is going to be a full one with all the courses I will need to take, homework, and work-work that I will be doing. Also the occational date night or relax time with Cole of course. Or time spent with my Auntie Debbie and Ron or at church. I'm going to be relying on my Father a lot for this coming year to go well. And for me to do better with doing my studies and preparation for exams and such. Pray, pray, pray!

Love janie

Monday, June 4, 2012

In a Far Away Land..

The past year in Thunder Bay with Cole has been amazing. We made new friends..well more like Cole made new friends then I just tagged along until I became friends too. But I wouldn't change my time there ever. It was amazing, eventful, meaningful; I learned a lot, made mistakes..and through it all, Cole was there by my side. He never once gave up on me, nor I on him. We kept each other strong, faithful, peaseful and feeling loved.
Now its been a month and a half since school finished for the year..and its been a month and a half since I last saw Cole, felt him, smelled him, and heard his voice. Well, that's if you don't include skype or phone calls, but we've only had a few times of those. Cole started working for a forestry company, called Sumac, on May 1st. He's done training for 5 days, then out in the bush for 5 days with weekends off. On May 28th, he started his first set of 10days in the bush with 4 days off. I've been counting down the days..and it does not help pass the time or make me miss him less. Only 2 more days until he gets back home, 2 more days until I get to see his amazing smile of skype and probably cry because I miss him so much.
Sometimes I think about what I will do the next time I see him, and I mean for real..not just on skype. Will I stand frozen, wondering if it's really him? Or will I scream and run to him, with his arms scooping me up into a big hug? Will I kiss him until I can't breathe? I think I would prolly do all of these things, in some kind of order. I would probably freeze, realize it's actually him, scream then run into his arms and kiss him until I cannot breathe or until our lips hurt! There would probably be some crying somewhere in there. Then I would smile until my face hurt and never let his hand go. I'd make him take me to the bathroom just so I wouldn't have to take my hand from his.
Why does love make someone feel so many emotions at once? It's astounding to think that while I may be annoyed at Cole for something, I'd be thinking about how handsome he is or how I love how warm and smooth his skin is. Or I'd be crying one moment because I hurt myself, or something bad happened..but as soon as Cole even hints at a smile, I cannot help but smile with him..and then I'm instantly happy. He is contagious in so many ways..from his mesmerizing smile to his comforting touch. Love is an amazing thing; God is one spectacular being for bringing such a thing into the world. Through Him, the Holy Spirit, through Jesus, and the love of your boyfriend or husband. It's unfathomable!

love janie